My Brother John RIP

I guess I sort of fell off the wagon for several months and didn't blog. Now, it seems, the dam has broken. I re-read some of my posts and realized I told you about my brother being diagnosed with cancer, but I forgot to mention that he passed away July 23rd at 9:00 a.m.

When I took him to the doctor to discuss his diagnosis from the biopsy, it was apparent to us all that he needed to be admitted to the hospital. How he made it that long on his own, I don't know. When I arrived to pick him up for his appointment, he was laying on his bed and couldn't really complete a sentence. I asked him to comb his hair a little before we left and he got the comb into his hand and to his hair and then it sort of stayed there. There was a disconnect in what he was doing. I got him from his apartment to the car, and from the car to the door of the doctor's office. The nurse who came out to meet him greeted him and he was not able to give a coherent response. I didn't intervene or finish his sentences because I wanted them to see how he was responding. They made arrangements for him to be admitted to the hospital that day. It took several hours for them to get a bed ready and so we waited at the office and then went over. He was unable to feed himself--food wouldn't stay on his spoon, he kept trying to eat from the nurse call bell (thinking it was a plate?), by the next day he wasn't able to swallow and so was taken off anything by mouth. They kept increasing his meds so that soon he was mostly "resting" in bed. He never really gained consciousness again. I was with him and my sister was with him until the end. There is more to tell, but again it is TMI. That was the first time I have been with a person as he took his last breath. I can only reaffirm how sacred life is. I am thankful to my Father in Heaven for all that he has given me, but especially for life.